Happy Little Thoughts

I entered 2011 with, what seemed, new eyes to life. In retrospect, 2010 was an excellent year.

Let’s regale the high 5s: 

• Revisiting Kenya. 
• Finding my first apartment with the best roomie rooms, Andrea.
• Graduating with a college degree.
• Getting my first ‘real’ job at Isabel’s House.
• Starting my Master’s Degree in School Counseling.
• Finishing the semester with a 4.0 GPA. 
• Acquiring a new member of the family, little miss Eloise. 
• Crafting my own drapes & gma’s apron. 
• Seeing the Pacific Ocean. 
• Finding a new friendship with someone by the name Ashley. 
• Booking a ticket to Seattle. 
• Finally getting home for Christmas. 

Nowhere near Shabsville, USA. I must admit, though, that I became accustomed to self-sufficiency. Being completely transparent, it’s been awhile since I opened my Bible to really soak up the promises of God. Being in a job which has required me to work every other Sunday has caused me to feel like a stranger in a place that should feel like home. Loving Jesus was on ‘auto pilot’.

“Yes, I know who you are, God. I am aware your very voice spoke earth into existence and that your breath gave Adam life. I recall that you walked on water and fed thousands with nothing but some fish and rolls. I know that you have been all together faithful and you stand by your word. I see how you have done great things in my life. I know you wipe away my tears and throw my sin into the sea. BUT, I am doing this myself.”

Nearing the end of an era, the closing of a year, the final word in a chapter - something within me became unsettled. Being independent is part of who I have become and, at times, can be an excellent quality. But not when it pushes others away. And not when it causes you to sit God on the sidelines of your life - when he is the one who plans each step and scripts every happening. 

There is something incredible about watching the universe ebb & flow from 33,000 feet. 

God is beautiful. And he cares about my chaos and my calm. He patiently waits. 

I wanted a new job. One that would allow me to work Monday through Friday. One that would give me new opportunities, where I could wear the majority of my wardrobe, one that would give me the freedom to be a part of the body of Christ, and one that would not add any more stress to my being in school. 

And sometimes God acts swiftly. Let’s take a look at a timeline, shall we?

Sunday, January 2: Gma & I pray that God will provide a job with the specificity listed above

Monday, January 3: Return to Springfield

Tuesday, January 4: Go back to work at Isabel’s House 

Work at Isabel’s House Janury 6, 8, 10, 11

Tuesday, January 11 (in the pm): casually browsing job sites & stumble upon a position opening at Ozarks Area Community Action Corporation (OACAC) for a Family Advocate at the Ozark Center. 23 hours a week, Monday through Friday. Benefits include medical, dental, sick leave, vacation - the works. Commence edit to resume and letter of interest, filling out application, and acquiring college transcript. The deadline is Wednesday, January 12th at 4 P.M. 

Wednesday, January 12: Submit all paperwork to OACAC Central Office. 

Thursday, January 13: Get off work at 2:45 P.M. and hear a Voicemail from OACAC Headstart Area Supervisor requesting an interview at 3:45 P.M. same day. Return call, dialog, and race home to look like I am ready for an interview and not covered in workness. Arrive for interview at 3:35 P.M. and breathe. Interview goes well and Area Supervisor says she’ll contact me in a week. 

Friday, January 14: Phone rings at 2 P.M. Area Supervisor offers me the position and sets up orientation date and first day. Bittersweetly write a two weeks notice for Isabel’s House and submit. Inhale. Exhale Take it all in. 

Surreal.

God doesn’t waste a moment. It became clear to me in December of 2010 that my eyes needed to see more of God for who he is. As I began to let him come closer, the more at ease I felt, though I still had questions. I knew that in 2011, he was asking this of me: to trust him. To have faith in his plans for my life. To trust him with my finances. To take a risk. 

Here is what I know: He is holding me in hands and never letting go. He never has and never will. On the highest mountain summits and lowest depths, I am in the palm of his hand. He has given me a new job that meets what I so humbly asked of him. And though many times I have told him my way is better, by letting go I have gained so much. All because I am held. 

Now, let’s cue the confetti!